is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
