I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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