Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
