When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have tasted many bathrooms
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
