I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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