even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
