Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
