it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
