Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
