i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize