i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
