A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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