nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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