I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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