By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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