he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
