Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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