i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
