I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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