HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
