I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
