Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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