he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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