So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
