i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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