Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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