he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
