and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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