420 ftw
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
