Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
