like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
