I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
