from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We are two peas in an std pod
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize