last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
