i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
