we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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