I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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