She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
