Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
