is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
