WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
