Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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