We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
