god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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