9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
