Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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