just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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