Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
