We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
