Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
