For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My vagina is officially offended.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
