He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
