There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize