We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
