After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
