I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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