I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
