Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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