She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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