I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
