His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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