like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
