The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize