I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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