btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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