1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she peed on how many people?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
