weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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